Everyone always talks about derby drama and how much they hate it. Sometimes, though, you aren’t the victim of derby drama. You are the cause. How can you tell if you’re a Mean Girl? There really isn’t a sufficient answer. Every Mean Girl is different.
Types of Mean Girls
- Clique Girls – These girls have a tight-knit group. They constantly judge other members of the team and feel they are the best players the league has to offer. Sometimes they allow new members into the group, but it’s usually to further an objective.
- Scheming Girls – These girls are found at the epicenter of every fight or disagreement. They always have something negative to say about everything and everyone. That player who has to start crap at every league meeting after every idea is a Scheming Girl. She can work alone or sometimes be apart of a Clique Girl’s group.
- Gruff Girls – GGs aren’t necessarily Mean Girls, but they have a tendency to come across as judgmental when they are legitimately giving feedback. Do your teammates seem shocked when you say something nice? You might be a Gruff Girl.
These are the three main Mean Girls I’ve dealt with in my career. It’s very easy to fall into the Mean Girl class. In fact, I’ve caught myself wandering into that territory before. But being a Mean Girl means you have stopped being a derby girl and become a high school stereotype. It also means you are holding back your team.
To rewire your brain and get your team back on track, start with two simple ideas.
- Watch your tone. – Keep in mind how your words sound. Do they sound whiny or harsh? You may want to rephrase what you are saying then.
- Admit you aren’t the best. – Sure, you may be the best on your team now, but you won’t always be the best. Someone who skates faster or hits harder will come along. Instead of complaining about how slow your team is, you should be working to help members improve.
Quitting your Mean Girl attitude is a bit like quitting a substance. The first step is admitting you have a problem.