The Long, Hot Derby Practice

Sunday was ridiculously hot for Coastal Georgia. While I’m sure most of you were either chilling out by the beach or pool, me and my derby team’s Fresh Meat members were sweating our butts off in a picnic area.

I recently joined my team’s training committee. I knew it was going to be very involved (planning drills, choosing rosters, etc.) but I had no idea that involvement also meant improvisation.

Sunday was my first time leading a Fresh Meat practice. (Fresh Meat are girls who just joined the team, but cannot bout yet.) After spending a very early morning carefully planning and writing out what we’d cover, I felt ready. My teammate and fellow training committee member, No Mercy Jersey, would be there to help, so I knew if I screwed anything up, she would let me know.

When I arrived at the gym, Jersey was furiously fighting with the padlock. She handed the keys to me to see if I had any better luck. Nope. Turns out the gym owners had changed the lock and failed to inform any of us or give us keys. After multiple phone calls, we finally got a hold of someone who told us he could get us keys in two hours. TWO HOURS!?!

While all this was going on, Jersey and I told the girls to wait under the covered picnic area. Temperatures were running around 96 degrees with humidity in the 100s. Once we realized we weren’t going to be able to get in, Jersey and I debated what to do next.  Do we make them skate around the parking lot? Do we try off skate drills? What?

That’s when I remembered that I had my notebook with the Roller Derby Workout written down. Hurray! We would spare our Fresh Meat the hazards of parking lot skating for exercising under a covered patio. (Some kids camp had hosted a mini fair in the parking lot that week, complete with ponies. No telling what was on the pavement.)

I think the Fresh Meat were relieved at first. Clearly, none of them had done the Roller Derby Workout before. *evil laugh*

If you’ve never done this particular workout, it involves a lot of leg and core work with lots of holding of uncomfortable positions. Totally worth it in the end, but I’m sure some of them were mentally cursing the day I was born. Oh, well.

I told them it was all out of love, and it’s true. I wish someone had shown me these moves when I first started roller derby. When we finally get around to teaching our fabulous freshies how to hit, they can get back at me for it. I still think it was a better alternative to skating through pony poo.


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